It's not you, It's him - don't ask for signs and then ignore the signs

(photo: Mark Groves Instagram)

Is he cheating? If that thought has crossed your mind don’t ignore it. Unfortunately, that thought never crossed my mind dating this guy. I trusted him completely. Then I got an email… My heart dropped to my stomach instantly. Over the last couple of months I kept having gut feelings that he might not be the one for me, but I did what I do best…

These are all things I’ve battled with for years and that mentality ignored those gut feelings.

I’ve been praying for a sign from God to know if he was who I was supposed to be with… I truly just thought our struggles were because of communication and some other things, but I did NOT expect to be completely blindsided.

Thankfully someone else had been asking for answers to her prayers too. Had she not had the courage to reach out to me I probably would have never know I was being cheated on for almost our entire relationship. I gave him the opportunity to tell me the truth as soon as I read that email. He denied any cheating and made her out to be a crazy ex-girlfriend. Because I trusted him so much I wasn’t sure what to think… So I met up with her for coffee and got proof that he was lying to me.

I feel so dumb… How could I be so naive and not know?  And what I want to know even more is WHY DID HE DO THIS TO ME?  I know in my heart I shouldn’t feel this way because IT’S NOT ME, IT’S HIM who should feel ashamed but I can’t help feeling this way.

I hope that non of you have been in this situation, but if you are then know it’s OKAY to have those feelings. It’s going to take a lot of healing and time to feel better, but it will get BETTER.

I was going to make a list of things to watch for if you think he is cheating… But, I don’t need to waste more time thinking about the time I wasted with him and being negative. I want to remind myself and you all how you should be treated.


There are many more things I’m sure that every woman deserves in a relationship, but I just can’t think of them right now. But, bottom line… We all know what we are worth and how we should be treated. Don’t forget that.

I still trust God has a better plan for me and pray that He is working on my future husbands heart.


6 Responses

  1. Amazing timing on this, I’m not being cheated on (this time) but have been questioning my relationship. Thanks for the post and sorry your ex cheated.

  2. Oh Brooke, I’m SO sorry to hear this. It breaks my heart to see lack of courage…on his part. Courage is walking away before hurting someone, but something tells me he was insecure in himself to have cheated on you with someone else. He needed to feel something to feel better about himself. If I may recommend a book called Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes, it’s helps me learn more about men and the reason for some of the behavior they portray. Let me know if you decide to read it.

    I’m sad you had to experience this. I’ve been the woman on the other side and it’s NOT a good feeling. It happened years ago when I was in college. I believed him when he said he broke up with his girlfriend. I NEVER wanted to be that other woman and yet he turned me into her. It was not a good feeling when he went back and told her I was coming on to him. She ended up believing him and staying with him. Turns out, I wasn’t the first person he cheated on his girlfriend with, it was with a lot of my friends too and none of us knew!

    Lean hard on God, love. He’s got you. I’ll be praying for you! x

    She Sweats Diamonds 

  3. wow SORRY to hear about this 🙁 God always has another even more awesome plan for you regardless of how it feels now. I “kissed” a lot of frogs before I found my husband and I was married at 32. hang in there! prayer is so powerful it helped me see that I was in a bad relationship before it got worse.

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